Last week at E3 Nintendo announced the new Nintendo 3DS. It has been touted as the only console that is truly “Pirate Proof” due to its incredible new 3D technology. “The 3DS now has two separate view ports, on the same screen, one for each eye”, says Ichiri Natgonago, a Nintento Booth Bachelor. “The system is the first console to be guaranteed pirate proof because it doesn’t work with an eye patch!”
We don’t know how well this will work, but it shows promise!
Holiday Apartments
A new Poke-man product is making its way into the stores of America this spring.
“Now adults can have their own Poke-man”, said Rosco Barnes, director of strategic implementation of the popular Nintendo franchise.
“The Poke-man product can be programmed to do just about anything poking-related; be-it poking a friend on Facebook, poking the driver so they stay awake on long trips or poking yourself while reading a boring book”, claimed Barnes. “Heck, there are probably dozens of things that it can do that we haven’t thought of yet!”
The Poke-man product goes on sale April 1, 2010 and will be carried by Large Mart, Buy More and SavMart.
Jiffy Pop, Inc today announced a new product line of Jiffy Pop Fire Alarams.
“We are marketing strictly in the southern United States of Alabama, Mississippi, Louisiana, and Arkansas”, said Jiffy Pop spokesperson, Anita Medley. “People in this region are generally known to be a ‘bit backwards’ and our inexpensive new use for an old product is also very helpful. You can’t pay too little for peace of mind when we are talking about fire.”
Fire safety expert Roanald Barker claims that the likelyhood of the new Jiffy Pop fire alarm doing the job it is designed for is astronomically high. “When this device gets hot, you start to hear a popping sound, similar to small gun shots. We southern hicks recognize gunshots very easily and we have small houses so the sound travels good.”
