Minneapolis Man 98% Certain He is Not The Father of Nicole Ritchie’s Baby

26 year old Minneapolis resident, Jameson Pitchie, is “pretty sure” that he is not her baby’s daddy. “There ain’t no chance that I is the dad”, said Pitchie. “Jus because my last name rhymes with hers, don’t mean I am the one.”

nicole_ritchie.jpg Mr Pitchie has hired 1-800-Dial-A-Lawyer to help prove his case “just in case she comes looking to hit me up for some money or somethin”, says Pitchie. “I am jus waitin for Jerry to call me.”

“We have experts on call, waiting for when the time comes that we will need to run all sorts of tests, like DNA, MMR, and Tetanus”, quotes Jackson DiWandle, Dial-A-Lawyer’s representative. “We really feel that we have this one nailed!”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *