Government Considering School Uniform Mandate


A controversial new bill is set to pass this month that would make it mandatory for all school-age students (K-12) to wear a school uniform. “We miss the old Britney and there are those of us who think it would be nothing but a good thing to make every kid into a Britney autonomic android”, wrote Kevin Stiles, Government spokesperson on the Educational Process Mandate. “It just makes sense to us!”

Minnesota City is Renamed Due to Popular Demand

elmo_sign.jpg“The Minnesota city of Lake Elmo has been renamed to Tickle Me Lake Elmo”, said city spokesperson, Ella Peterson. “We have had so many requests over the last few years that we finally decided to put it to a vote!” The small city on the Eastern border of the Twin Cities is often times overlooked. “We wanted to put our city on the map!”, said Johan Cielsen. “I was more than willing to put my name on the online petition.”