Osama Tells Google Maps to Keep Out

Osama Bin Laden’s private camp, with private roads may be the second “city” to ask that street images be removed.

“You can look at almost anything on Google. Just don’t try to take a look at my private community”, says Bin Laden.  “I would like to have my right to privacy!”.

Bin Laden’s camp has demanded that Google Maps remove images of his cave complex from the website’s Street View feature, where any Internet user can catch a glimpse of them from the nearest road.

Since the introduction of Google Maps’ Street View in the spring of 2007, the feature has caused controversy in several cities and with the U.S. federal government. The Pentagon banned Google Maps from taking any images of military facilities, and a Pittsburgh couple sued the company over images of their home taken from the private road in front of their house.  North Oaks was the first city to ask Google to remove street images.

It is unknown if Google has shared the information on the whereabouts of Bin Laden with any members of the military.

RIAA Mistakenly Has Itself Arrested

In a recent federal lawsuit against a file sharer, the Recording Industry Association of America has alleged itself of downloading copyrighted music.  The Recording Industry uses Media Sentry to monitor the internet of infringing music.  The company is “able to identify hundreds of instances of infringement on a daily basis,” according to RIAA spokeswoman Cara Duckworth.  “We run hundreds of copies of Limewire on our computers in the Media Sentry offices. They download terabytes of illegal music each day.”

“Never have we seen such widespread piracy as that of Media Sentry”, said Duckworth.  “They are so far above the level of the average college kid that it is almost unbelievable.”  The recent court summons and arrest of the entire company was heralded as a huge success.  “We cought them red-handed”, said Treasury Department Agent, Willard Sott.  “There were over a hundred people and computers there.  We are proud to say that we really got them and none escaped!”

“We chalk this up to a great victory.  We are making the internet safe once again!”, said a triumphant Duckworth.

Local Restaurant Announces Organic Treat!

A local Mexican cuisine, Jimmy’s Mexipotle, announced today the intent to sell free-range prairie dog meat in their popular burritos.

“With all the hoopla about going organic and not using bionics, we are proud to say that Jimmy’s Mexipotle is going to go drug free as well!”, said Jimmy Chan, founder of Jimmy’s Mexipotle.  “We raise our prairie dogs to be totally free to range a crossed the countryside.”

Steven Hunt, an ingredients acquisition specialist for Jimmy’s Mexipotle had this to say: “We have to trek all the way over to the Dakota’s to get our ingredients.  And it aint easy.  Those little buggers can see us from a mile away.  We have to use high-powered scopes to be able to get the drop on them.”

When asked if it was worth it, Hunt replied, “Of course!  These little guys are the best of the best.  No crazy drugs in them that could stunt a kids development, like my sister’s boyfriend’s brother’s nephew’s kid.  He has three legs and hooves.  We blame it on that contaminated goat meat that they eat down there in Tennessee.”