Young Boy Dreams of Becoming a Tuba Hero

With all the ruckus about Guitar Hero going on in the main stream media, young Humphrey Anderson from Hugo has dreams to become a tuba hero.  “It all started last year when he played that guitar game on his playstation”, says Humphrey’s mom Vickie. “He thought it was cool, but it wasn’t as cool as it could be.”

tuba-hero.png “I thought it would be way cooler to have a tuba!” said 9 year old Humphrey.  “He evidently feels that the game could be the same, but with a  more brass edge”, says Vickie.  “It would be an interesting idea.”

The family evidently thinks it is such a good idea that they are applying for a patent so that when it does get made eventually, they will be able to take the maker to the cleaners.

Man Named Employee of the Month

eotm.jpgLocal Twin Cities man, James Compton, has been named Employee of the Month for the first time ever. “He is the right man for the job” says company spokesperson Wilma Compton. “I am his mother. I should know.”

Mr Compton is the sole proprietor of Compton Casualty Consulting, a one-man operation that specializes in notifying clients if they have been in an accident and how injured they are. “It’s a niche market”, says Mr. Compton, “One that nobody else was doing. I just felt that people need to be notified if they are dead, ya know?”

It is unknown if there will be any new employees hired anytime soon.

New Knight Rider Car Missing Important Device

kitt.jpgExecutives from NBC have let it be known that the new Knight Rider car, Knight Industries Three Thousand (KITT) will be missing an important piece of technology. The device that has been left out is a breathalyzer-based ignition system. Designers did not give the executives the reasoning as to why it was left out.
Skeptics say however that the device is not needed because David Hasselhoff will not be getting behind the wheel this time around.