RC Helicopter Makes Emergency Landing

Breaking News:

Similar HelicopterLate yesterday afternoon an RC Helicopter had to make an emergency landing after the pilot noticed that a decorative fin had fallen off.   “I had attached some fins on the sides of the chopper so that it would be unique”, says Ken Driscoll, the owner.  “She was a beut, but I started to notice some instability shortly after takeoff.”

“About 2 minutes into the flight, it all started to go crazy”, said Driscoll’s daughter Ashleigh.  “My dad had to act fast to save everyone from disaster! This kind of thing is what makes daddy a hero!”

Mr. Driscoll took the chopper into evasive manuevers, similar to those he learned by piloting helicopters in games such as “Battlefield 2” and “Armed Assualt”.  “If I hadn’t had all the flight time in those games, I don’t think I could have pulled it off”, said Driscoll.  “There is a happy ending, my daughter and I are both safe and now more people will know how dangerous this kind of thing can be.”

Local Group Starts “Full Contact Solitaire” Club

fc-solitaire.gifThe game of Solitaire just got updated to compete in todays world. A group of people in the south metro area have created the world’s first “Full Contact Solitaire” Club.

“It is very invigorating”, said Jonas Flinn, team captain of the South Hornets. “It takes the old style boring game and brings it into the future!” Jack Grymes, founder and president, suggests that “there is nothing better than sustaining a self-induced beating while playing cards! It gives me the sense of not only building my brain, but my strength as well.

“There really aren’t a set of rules yet”, specifies Flinn, “We have just been meeting and play-testing ideas”.

The lack of rules hasn’t stopped the new sport from growing tremendously though. There are currently 8 teams on the roster:

The South Hornets, Swinging Mayberries, Happy Hotdogs, Screaming Canaries, Solitaire Stones, Barefoot Momma’s, Flying Tack, and the Jack-Aces.

Persons interested are asked to go to the South Metro Conservatory for the Thursday night meetings. “Basically, you come and pick a team that sounds cool. If they have a spot open, you are golden and the team with the best score at the end of the night wins”, says Grymes.

Lawn-Chair Quarterback Speaks Out

Lawrence BigginsLong time Wauwatosa resident and Lawn-Chair quarterback, Lawrence Biggins, who we last remember riding his lawn-chair balloon over Lambeau Field last fall, has spoken out.

Mr. Biggins told Squak! News last night that he is sad that the Packers did not take his advice.  “If Hawk would have just tried harder and Brett didn’t cry like a little girl so much, we would have been there instead of those shoddy Giants”

Squak! News had to send a correspondent all the way down to The Bar to get a hold of Mr. Biggins.