Late last evening at a small resort near Balsam Lake Wisconsin, Batman arrived to save a scared young woman. Right around midnight, Lorraine Frucci was startled awake. As she exploded out of her bed, a mysterious creature was stalking her every move. The creature was intent on feasting on Ms. Frucci, but she had a secret weapon. She called for Batman to rescue her. “I new he would come save me”, said an obviously startled Frucci. “He is always there when I need him!”

After a few perilous seconds, Batman did indeed arrive on the scene. Grabbing a pillow case and advancing on the foul fiend, a furious fight ensued. “There was one time that I thought Batman might fail me”, said Ms. Frucci. “He lost sight of the creature in the lights. At first he thought it was near a window, but it wasn’t.”

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5 year old Adam Maxx was selected as this years Ladies Man USA. Alaine Maxx, Adam’s mother was ecstatically shouting after the announcement. “I always new he would be a ladies man when he got older. I mean, look at his dad! He’s going to be a real catch some day.”

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Sami Davidson woke up in the Emergency Room last night after a harrowing experience in his bathroom. “I really had to go, you know… Number Two, so I went in there planning for a long haul. I have a reading rack on the wall with all kinds of material. Just about anything that you could want”, said Mr. Davidson. He entered the lower level bathroom at his residence in St Paul at approximately 7:30PM last evening.

“We got a call from Ms. Raign, Mr. Davidson’s girlfriend, regarding an awful smell emanating from a locked lavatory door”, says Rudy Thomas. Mr. Thomas is the founder of Rudy’s Bathroom Emergency, a company specializing in extricating bathroom users that have passed out due to the “smell”. “Ms. Raign was really concerned. She said that Mr. Davidson had been in there for over an hour. If someone spends more than Twenty minutes in the bathroom, there is reason for worry”, quotes Mr. Thomas.
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